So. I uploaded my second audio post on newgrounds, in the form of another podcast-like segment. This one was a bit more personal, obviously, and was more me kind of explaining what life has been like lately for me. TLDL I have a kind of severe, not very well explained neurologic condition which makes life incredibly painful for me every waking moment. It's not very fun, and I honestly was feeling very hopeless and depressed about it, since the doctors have already done a whole bunch of tests and I have yet to get very many meaningful answers or diagnoses. What I am currently diagnosed with is functional neurologic disorder, which I believe to be a fairly large blanket term. It doesn't explain a whole lot, it's basically just saying that I have neurologic symptoms without a concrete organic cause or explanation. It used to be called conversion disorder, but that is a slightly outdated term, as the idea of thinking of it as "converting" mental trauma to neurologic and/or physical symptoms is a very outdated way of thinking about pain and trauma in general (better than hysteria, I guess). There is not a whole lot that the doctors currently understand about this disorder, and there is a lot of new research being done to try and understand it better. It's kind of frustrating, because all of the tests I have taken, such as blood tests, and an MRI, have came back saying that I am healthy. But the pain I feel is so unbearably excruciating that I know something is very wrong, I just don't know what it is. If you are curious to hear more about my personal opinion on the subject, I would highly recommend listening to my new podcast. Fair warning, I talk about a lotof really deep topics here, including suicide and suicidal thoughts, as well as very in depth descriptions of what I'm feeling. It's not very pleasant to say the least. Anyways, thanks for reading this. Peace, love yall 🧡